There was a skit on the old "Tonight Show" where Johnnie Carson would give the answer to questions before Ed McMahon even asked them. Johnnie, dressed as "Carnac the Magnificent," would hold the sealed envelope Ed had handed him to his forehead for a moment, and then give the answer, "Jerry Falwell." He'd then open the envelope and read the question "How does President Ford come downstairs?"
Of course you had to know Gerald Ford was a bit clumsy and had to recognize Jerry Falwell's name to get the joke, but the routine was always good for several laughs. My answer is "Johnnie Carson," to the question "Who's the best "Tonight Show" host?" Answers were easier to come by back in the days Carson was hosting, much easier than they are now.
I believe the reason for that is the questions are harder these days. Back in 1979 I knew the enemy was Russia, my business was doing well enough to allow me to race cars and fly around the country in a little airplane, America's future was bright, and it's citizens were the best educated, most industrious and cleverest people in the world. Hard questions back then involved things like "Where do you want to go to dinner tonight?" Today's easiest questions are more along the lines of "If I fix something soft, will you feel like eating it?" The hard ones these days are REALLY hard.
Back in the day, never realizing just how easy the questions were, I used to have all the answers. There are no mountains when you're thirty or forty years old. It's all a vast expanse of level ground with the wind at your back. The experience acquired during the first forty years and the still present energy of youth combine to make one almost invincible.
Well, I no longer have all the answers. Life is so much harder now than back then. My Doctor set up an appointment with a proctologist for me today and I'm struggling with an answer to this really hard question. Do I want to go through THAT again???
No amount of holding a sealed envelope to my forehead will give me an answer.
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