We have come to realize Carolyn's condition does not gradually deteriorate. Instead she experiences a plateau and then a sudden decrease in her abilities as the condition spreads and attacks a new area of her brain. That relatively fast drop in ability is then followed by a new, lower level of functionality which remains fairly stable until the disease again spreads.
Several weeks ago she experienced such a drop in her abilities, and we thought it had stabilized. But that was not the case. This time, the drop of several weeks ago has not yet stabilized, and after another series of falls which resulted in another trip to the emergency room for x-rays and medications, I know that I now must be at her side every time she moves around.
This means the only time I have to complete the mundane chores required to keep our home running is during the time she is resting. I used to do these things while she moved around on her own.
The time our Good Lord gives me each day has remained exactly the same, and the change in Carolyn's needs requires a change in my activities. Something must be given up, and as much as I hate to do it, one of the things I've chosen to cede to her disease is this small space of ours.
Maybe in another five years or so, after Carolyn has been released from this burden she must deal with, I will continue the blog. But for now, I must leave it.
Thank you for sharing your time and comments with me. And, thanks for putting up with my petty rants. I've enjoyed your company.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
While I'm on the Subject
The subject, of course, is disgust. And the lack of morality in general and the lack of it in banking in particularly. As in MF Global.
Most of us have heard something about MF Global in the last few days as we were eating our toast or changing the channel hoping to find reruns of "Survivor" But I imagine it has mostly been ignored by nearly everyone who has to go to work to put food on the table.
A couple of years ago it was Bernie Madoff and his active ponzi scheme. Now it revolves around a guy, John Corzine, who just happened to have run a banking company, Goldman Sachs, earlier in his career. He then left employment in the private sector to become a Senator and then a Governor of New Jersey.
I'd say he is pretty well connected to both the New York bankers and the highest ranking Washington politicians. Sort of like Hank Paulson, also a former head of Goldman, who managed to find a way to keep from paying any income tax on five hundred million dollars worth of proceeds from the sale of stock.
That's what well connected guys - about four or five hundred of them, do in this country. They get away with fraud and income tax evasion. Every day of the week. Of course, it is not fraud or evasion, they've written the laws just so they can do it. But don't you try to get away with the evil they do - you'll go to jail. Anyway, back to John Corzine.
It seems he managed to take 633 million dollars from the accounts of customers of his company and spend it on worthless European bonds. He did this without their knowledge or consent, and now it's gone. Lost in a margin call to an as yet unnamed bank. I'm not gonna try to name the bank, but I bet there's a G and an S somewhere in it.
Just sayin'. But, I refuse to get sued on a hunch so I'll add "Gimme an F" as did Country Joe. Yeah - there's an "F" in there too. Somewhere.
It turns out what he did just may be completely legal - using and losing all the money in his clients accounts to make money for himself and his firm, without sharing any of those potential profits with the clients. Somewhere in all the paperwork people sign to open an account with MF Global was some small print that said it's OK for him to lose everything people like you and I worked for and saved every year of our lives.
But still all those years of working and saving have been lost. The difference between Bernie Madoff and John Corzine is that he legally stole all the money. And now he'll retire to his mansion, tour Europe or the Islands, and party with the movers and shakers. I can hear them laughing at all the "little people" whom he caused to become paupers in their old age.
Stealing money has become an art form, and most of the artists work on Wall Street or have close ties to it. They steal with the active aid of politicians who have taken millions from them in the form of campaign contributions. What has happened to the customers of MF Global can happen to everyone else who either invests there or has a pension or 401K with investments in that den of vipers. I am fortunate, I have not one shiney penny in the hands of those thieves.
But still it disgusts me that so few are allowed to steal from so many without consequence - except to the victims.
When I notice anything at all resembling mold anywhere in my life I grab a bottle of bleach and start pouring liberal amounts all around the suspect area. I'm starting to think it's high time we, the American public, started pouring bleach on Wall Street and in Washington. Get rid of the slime.
Update: My reading tonight included this by Jim Quinn http://www.theburningplatform.com/?p=24763
He is so much more able than I on this subject - and the subject I wrote of yesterday. If you have some time to spend please read what he wrote. Funny, but he said exactly what I wanted to.
Most of us have heard something about MF Global in the last few days as we were eating our toast or changing the channel hoping to find reruns of "Survivor" But I imagine it has mostly been ignored by nearly everyone who has to go to work to put food on the table.
A couple of years ago it was Bernie Madoff and his active ponzi scheme. Now it revolves around a guy, John Corzine, who just happened to have run a banking company, Goldman Sachs, earlier in his career. He then left employment in the private sector to become a Senator and then a Governor of New Jersey.
I'd say he is pretty well connected to both the New York bankers and the highest ranking Washington politicians. Sort of like Hank Paulson, also a former head of Goldman, who managed to find a way to keep from paying any income tax on five hundred million dollars worth of proceeds from the sale of stock.
That's what well connected guys - about four or five hundred of them, do in this country. They get away with fraud and income tax evasion. Every day of the week. Of course, it is not fraud or evasion, they've written the laws just so they can do it. But don't you try to get away with the evil they do - you'll go to jail. Anyway, back to John Corzine.
It seems he managed to take 633 million dollars from the accounts of customers of his company and spend it on worthless European bonds. He did this without their knowledge or consent, and now it's gone. Lost in a margin call to an as yet unnamed bank. I'm not gonna try to name the bank, but I bet there's a G and an S somewhere in it.
Just sayin'. But, I refuse to get sued on a hunch so I'll add "Gimme an F" as did Country Joe. Yeah - there's an "F" in there too. Somewhere.
It turns out what he did just may be completely legal - using and losing all the money in his clients accounts to make money for himself and his firm, without sharing any of those potential profits with the clients. Somewhere in all the paperwork people sign to open an account with MF Global was some small print that said it's OK for him to lose everything people like you and I worked for and saved every year of our lives.
But still all those years of working and saving have been lost. The difference between Bernie Madoff and John Corzine is that he legally stole all the money. And now he'll retire to his mansion, tour Europe or the Islands, and party with the movers and shakers. I can hear them laughing at all the "little people" whom he caused to become paupers in their old age.
Stealing money has become an art form, and most of the artists work on Wall Street or have close ties to it. They steal with the active aid of politicians who have taken millions from them in the form of campaign contributions. What has happened to the customers of MF Global can happen to everyone else who either invests there or has a pension or 401K with investments in that den of vipers. I am fortunate, I have not one shiney penny in the hands of those thieves.
But still it disgusts me that so few are allowed to steal from so many without consequence - except to the victims.
When I notice anything at all resembling mold anywhere in my life I grab a bottle of bleach and start pouring liberal amounts all around the suspect area. I'm starting to think it's high time we, the American public, started pouring bleach on Wall Street and in Washington. Get rid of the slime.
Update: My reading tonight included this by Jim Quinn http://www.theburningplatform.com/?p=24763
He is so much more able than I on this subject - and the subject I wrote of yesterday. If you have some time to spend please read what he wrote. Funny, but he said exactly what I wanted to.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Winning
Tonight I watched something that disgusted me to my core. The cameras were rolling as several hundred, maybe several thousand, Penn State students were marching in support of a man who was mostly guilty of looking the other way as a former colleague sexually abused several young boys.
Their coach, a man who until this week seemed to be a pillar of decency, did little to stop the abuse of which he was aware. I believe him when he says he is ashamed of his inaction because I myself believe him to be an honest man.
But it takes more than mere honesty to lead and teach our children. It takes guts and a sense of values that puts the welfare of those students, and any other child, ahead of everything else, including winning on an athletic field.
The students I watched tonight have been let down by their coach, their teachers, their parents and our American society at large. They have been instilled with false values, and can not see the failure of University Officials to protect young children for the outrage it is. Our failure to teach them is complete, they do not even recognize their error. All they know is they love their winning coach.
From an early age they have been taught instead that life is about winning - not about caring for and protecting others. We reward greed and avarice. Not so much do we reward honesty and caring for others welfare. Our values and, therefore, their values are false.
It's why our country is coming apart. Values and morals have fallen away from our society and have been replaced with greed and meaningless toys. A new car is more important than a charitable donation. A winning coach is more important than several preteen aged boys. I'm just as guilty, I love a winning team.
But, my God, winning is not everything.
Their coach, a man who until this week seemed to be a pillar of decency, did little to stop the abuse of which he was aware. I believe him when he says he is ashamed of his inaction because I myself believe him to be an honest man.
But it takes more than mere honesty to lead and teach our children. It takes guts and a sense of values that puts the welfare of those students, and any other child, ahead of everything else, including winning on an athletic field.
The students I watched tonight have been let down by their coach, their teachers, their parents and our American society at large. They have been instilled with false values, and can not see the failure of University Officials to protect young children for the outrage it is. Our failure to teach them is complete, they do not even recognize their error. All they know is they love their winning coach.
From an early age they have been taught instead that life is about winning - not about caring for and protecting others. We reward greed and avarice. Not so much do we reward honesty and caring for others welfare. Our values and, therefore, their values are false.
It's why our country is coming apart. Values and morals have fallen away from our society and have been replaced with greed and meaningless toys. A new car is more important than a charitable donation. A winning coach is more important than several preteen aged boys. I'm just as guilty, I love a winning team.
But, my God, winning is not everything.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Daylight Savings Time.
Thursday morning I woke up and discovered someone had painted my lawn white. It happened while I slept and not only that, the vandals had painted the sidewalks the same color. No way could a guy tell where one ended and the other started. Shameful at best, but at least they didn't bother with the street. It was still in place and maintained it's wonderful standard black color. At least that part of my morning world made some sense.
Good thing it did make sense 'cause all that black reminded me I really needed that first cup of coffee in the morning before my sleep dulled brain is capable of producing a complete, rational thought. Drug addict? You bet - I need that caffeine every day. So I flipped the "ON" switch so the red part of it showed and waited till the pot quit making gurgling noises.
That's all I have to do in the morning to make coffee 'cause I get the pot ready the night before. I've learned, after 67 years, that I'm completely unreliable in the morning. If I attempt to make coffee at that time of day I'm asking for trouble. It usually requires two attempts. The first try will fail because of some silly thing like forgetting to put the coffee in the place where the water runs through it. You know, that little basket thingy?
After a few minutes the pot settled down and stopped making more noise than I ever need to hear in the morning and I poured a hot steaming cup of Yuban. I read the comics section of yesterdays newspaper while I drank the liquid. By the time it was gone and the comics were finished, I felt pretty good. Then I took another look out the window.
The hour I had spent in the kitchen trying to wake up was all it took to put everything right. The lawn was green - had I just been dreaming of vandals when I first stumbled in? I noticed I still could catch the local morning weather so the TV was turned on and tuned to the local station. Sure enough, after maybe four minutes of commercials, there was young Ben B. telling me about the day ahead.
But first he eased my mind. He told me it had snowed overnight. Just a dusting, but real snow on the 3rd of November, which is about three or four weeks earlier than normal. Thanks Goodness. There was an explanation for my earlier hallucinations that made sense. It's too bad, but I guess I'm not loony and still belong among the other sane folks in this neighborhood.
I 'spose that's good news - but I had already started to figure out how to spend the money that comes along with being insane. I'm sure someone will give you a check every month if you can prove that condition to them. And I bet it's a good sized one at that. I'm sure it's much larger than the measly Social Security check I now receive. Crazy people need more money - they can't be expected to manage their money wisely; they're crazy, remember?
After telling me it really did snow last night ol' Ben then told me we had just barely made it five months between snows. Yep. The last snow of last winter fell on the First of June. We made it five months and two days before it fell again. Boy am I glad I live here. The thought of shoveling snow seven months of the year thrills me - NOT. And I'm even happier the Chamber of Commerce advertises the fact we have three hundred days of sunshine every year. Ha. Guess they're out to make a buck too.
The next thing he said also brought cheer to my old, tired and now shivering body. He mentioned we go off daylight savings time this week end. Just how much joy is one individual 'sposed to receive in a single weather report? By now I'm wishing I were forty years younger. I'd join the French Foreign Legion and spend some time in the middle of the Sahara this winter instead.
I hate it when the clocks are set back. That's the start of winter. It's dark by 5:30 or so, curtains are drawn against the chill air on the other side of the windows and ya can't even spy on your neighbors as they drive in from work. Did they go shopping today? Are those Wal*Mess bags I see them carrying in?
All the experts claim winter starts on the 21st of December. But all of us non-experts pretty much disagree. When the clocks "Fall Back" is the begining of winter and the good times are over until spring. In fact, the heater's already started making warm noises on a regular basis.
Anyway, I figured I'd suffer through it for a while til it was time to see what amusement the mail man left for us in our slot of the corner box. When you're retired, the daily Checking Of The Mail assumes gigantic importance. While working, I constantly received surprises. Got them in abundance for eight hours every day. These days most of the surprises arrive in that slot.
There was a letter in today's mail - the first one of those we've received in a while. Usually we get bills, statements and offers to buy all kinds of stuff at tremendous savings. Seldom do we get actual letters. I rushed home, opened it, and began to read to Carolyn. It was from friends who live in Tuscon, Arizona and after several interesting paragraphs, he closed by reminding us to set our clocks back this weekend.
Then he laughed as he bragged "We don't do that here in Arizona, you know. Our winter doesn't start for another eight weeks!" My kinda guy. He doesn't know it yet but I got the last laugh. I used the letter as kindling to start the first fire of our new winter.
Hate Daylight Savings time. Why do we do this sort of thing to ourselves?
Good thing it did make sense 'cause all that black reminded me I really needed that first cup of coffee in the morning before my sleep dulled brain is capable of producing a complete, rational thought. Drug addict? You bet - I need that caffeine every day. So I flipped the "ON" switch so the red part of it showed and waited till the pot quit making gurgling noises.
That's all I have to do in the morning to make coffee 'cause I get the pot ready the night before. I've learned, after 67 years, that I'm completely unreliable in the morning. If I attempt to make coffee at that time of day I'm asking for trouble. It usually requires two attempts. The first try will fail because of some silly thing like forgetting to put the coffee in the place where the water runs through it. You know, that little basket thingy?
After a few minutes the pot settled down and stopped making more noise than I ever need to hear in the morning and I poured a hot steaming cup of Yuban. I read the comics section of yesterdays newspaper while I drank the liquid. By the time it was gone and the comics were finished, I felt pretty good. Then I took another look out the window.
The hour I had spent in the kitchen trying to wake up was all it took to put everything right. The lawn was green - had I just been dreaming of vandals when I first stumbled in? I noticed I still could catch the local morning weather so the TV was turned on and tuned to the local station. Sure enough, after maybe four minutes of commercials, there was young Ben B. telling me about the day ahead.
But first he eased my mind. He told me it had snowed overnight. Just a dusting, but real snow on the 3rd of November, which is about three or four weeks earlier than normal. Thanks Goodness. There was an explanation for my earlier hallucinations that made sense. It's too bad, but I guess I'm not loony and still belong among the other sane folks in this neighborhood.
I 'spose that's good news - but I had already started to figure out how to spend the money that comes along with being insane. I'm sure someone will give you a check every month if you can prove that condition to them. And I bet it's a good sized one at that. I'm sure it's much larger than the measly Social Security check I now receive. Crazy people need more money - they can't be expected to manage their money wisely; they're crazy, remember?
After telling me it really did snow last night ol' Ben then told me we had just barely made it five months between snows. Yep. The last snow of last winter fell on the First of June. We made it five months and two days before it fell again. Boy am I glad I live here. The thought of shoveling snow seven months of the year thrills me - NOT. And I'm even happier the Chamber of Commerce advertises the fact we have three hundred days of sunshine every year. Ha. Guess they're out to make a buck too.
The next thing he said also brought cheer to my old, tired and now shivering body. He mentioned we go off daylight savings time this week end. Just how much joy is one individual 'sposed to receive in a single weather report? By now I'm wishing I were forty years younger. I'd join the French Foreign Legion and spend some time in the middle of the Sahara this winter instead.
I hate it when the clocks are set back. That's the start of winter. It's dark by 5:30 or so, curtains are drawn against the chill air on the other side of the windows and ya can't even spy on your neighbors as they drive in from work. Did they go shopping today? Are those Wal*Mess bags I see them carrying in?
All the experts claim winter starts on the 21st of December. But all of us non-experts pretty much disagree. When the clocks "Fall Back" is the begining of winter and the good times are over until spring. In fact, the heater's already started making warm noises on a regular basis.
Anyway, I figured I'd suffer through it for a while til it was time to see what amusement the mail man left for us in our slot of the corner box. When you're retired, the daily Checking Of The Mail assumes gigantic importance. While working, I constantly received surprises. Got them in abundance for eight hours every day. These days most of the surprises arrive in that slot.
There was a letter in today's mail - the first one of those we've received in a while. Usually we get bills, statements and offers to buy all kinds of stuff at tremendous savings. Seldom do we get actual letters. I rushed home, opened it, and began to read to Carolyn. It was from friends who live in Tuscon, Arizona and after several interesting paragraphs, he closed by reminding us to set our clocks back this weekend.
Then he laughed as he bragged "We don't do that here in Arizona, you know. Our winter doesn't start for another eight weeks!" My kinda guy. He doesn't know it yet but I got the last laugh. I used the letter as kindling to start the first fire of our new winter.
Hate Daylight Savings time. Why do we do this sort of thing to ourselves?
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