My Idea

While watching the news this evening I had a little idea.  It's a little idea because it came from between the ears of a little, as in "one who does not matter," person.  I have a big body, but a small wallet.  These things do not combine to average each other,  so I remain a small person in the minds of all the very important folks who are smart enough to bring the country to ruin all by themselves.   I don't hold a grudge, so I'll share the idea with them. 

My idea is that we just might be able to solve all the problems we face if we engage in some creative imagination.  First of all, let's figure out just which problems we want to solve.  Maybe we should start with a couple of easy ones - let's say we try to fix our growing dependence on imported oil and, oh let's see, maybe we can fix the problem of people yearning for democracy in North Africa for starters.  Ya know, if we really work at it, maybe we can also fix the Federal deficit without much more effort. That should be enough for now, ya think?

I believe the reason we import so much oil is because we don't have enough in the United States and a whole bunch of people don't want to put any more holes in the ground around this joint.  Does that sound close enough for you?  What we need to do is somehow find a place where there are already a bunch of holes and make that place a part of America.  That seems like a sensible solution to me.  Wow!  That just gave me another idea!

How about we somehow combine the "no holes here problem" with the "I want to be free" desire on the part of all the peoples of North Africa?  Hold on to your hats folks, 'cause now, all of a sudden, two very hard to fix problems have just become one that is easy to solve.  I propose  (Drum Roll) The Annexation and Statehood of (51) Libya,  (52) Egypt,  (53)Iraq,  (54)Bahrain and (55)Yemen.  It's been a while since we've added a star to our flag,  and actually the only problem I can see is where do we put the new stars?  There are already five stars in the outer bands on both sides so we'll make the whole thing lopsided if we add a second row of five to either the left or the right of those that are already there. Can't put them in the middle 'cause the middle has only four stars. 

I tell you, this has the makings of a real disaster.  The only sensible solution to the energy and North African problems completely messes up our flag.  What a bummer.  Wait just a minute - let's think about the middle again.  It has four stars, and actually, a close inspection reveals that there are alternating bands of five and four.......hum........I have it!  Let's just annex four of the countries!  To heck with the fifth!  It's prolly filled with a bunch of terrorists anyway.  And, if it isn't, lets just evict all the terrorists from the four American ones and make 'em live in the fifth.  Now, we still have alternating bands of four and five. There.  Now it's fixed.

Let's review what we've accomplished.  America has a bunch of new oil.  No more importing the stuff.  Democracy is the law of the land in most of Northern Africa.  And, our flag is still the prettiest in all of the Universe.  Wow.  Not bad for a bunch of bloggers.

Oh - we were also gonna eliminate the deficit.  How should we do that?  I know!  Let's put all the dictators that now rule in that part of the world in jail.  We'll accuse them of some crime or other and take all the money as a fine.  If it's not enough, let's toss all the crooked bankers, traders and politicians in this country in the same clinker and take their ill gotten gains too.  Nah, that's a little much. 

Let's just slap their wrists and give them high ranking Government jobs.  That's the 'ol American Spirit!