OK. Now where were we? Fought with the mutt, started with the wrong box, mouse fell on floor so no need to further check contents of correct starting box, needed an adapter, needed a new keyboard - what have I forgotten? Never mind - I'm too old to care. If ya need to catch up, go back a page and read the first part of this story, Genius.
Whatever it was that happened in the house that night did not mean the end of the world. The Sun came up in the East, way too early in the morning, as it has a nasty habit of doing during the summer months. Three hours or so later we also rose. Me in the South and Carolyn in the North. That way we don't climb all over Muffy, who has a really ugly habit of waiting til we fall asleep before he jumps up on the bed between us. Maybe one morning I should also rise in the North. But, I'm afraid even a white fluffy dog will make a mess if a guy with a tummy shaped like Buddha rolls over it. Don't really want to find out 'cause I hate cleaning up messes.
Speaking of cleaning up messes, that was the first thing out of Carolyn's mouth soon as she walked into the living room. "Oh my God! There's boxes and trash everywhere! What were you doing in here last night?" After reminding her I was very busy cleaning all the boxes off the small couch, as she had so ardently suggested, she replied. "Well, I didn't mean for you to scramble the whole living room. Jeez - it was better when they were all on the couch." A guy just has no chance of winning these days. I told her I'd fix it. I'm good at that.
I started to clean up the mess and that's when I found the keyboard that came with the new computer. Ya know, the one that I thought was not included so I went to Radio Shack, phoned the Geeks, and then traveled ANOTHER 42.3 miles to buy a new one? It was included. Ol' eagle eyes had not seen it in the box.
Well, ya really can't blame me. I am sixty-six years old, wear glasses, and have stumbled through my whole life without seeing where I am headed. How the devil am I supposed to see something as small as a 19 inch long keyboard? It's just not my fault. Darn Chinamen - they hide the suckers in a fourteen pound wad of folded cardboard designed specifically to conceal keyboards. I should sue.
Now I had a super cool adapter and a keyboard, both of which I needed to return..........some other day. I'm busy right now. I cleaned up my mess from the night before and started anew to complete the original task - getting rid of the boxes on the couch. No way was I ever gonna think of this project as hooking up the new computer and Blu-ray. I don't know how to do that. I continued getting rid of the boxes on the couch by taking the recently purchased keyboard and adapter, along with the receipts, out to the Guzzler.
Then I hooked up the keyboard that came with the computer, pushed on the hidden on/off switch and waited. Soon the set up menu appeared and this time, I made it all the way through. The new computer worked! But, it has a new version of Windows, so I'm gonna have to deal with that. Again, some other day - I'm busy right now. Now, I was able to start on the router. At last I could read the instructions on the CD.
The router was child's play. Too bad I'm not a child. It took a while. After following all the instructions to the dirty end, I had no idea if it was working or not. There was no way to check until I hooked up the Blu-ray.
I unboxed it and CAREFULLY checked every ounce of packing for tiny pieces, plugged it in, loaded batteries in the remote and pushed the button. Nothing happened. Sometimes, a plug is controlled by a wall switch so I replaced the Blu-ray plug with one from a lamp. When I turned the lamp on, it was just like in Genesis - there was light. No problem with the switch, the Blu-ray was DOA. There was no reset button, no way to check to see if the remote was kaput, it was just totally busted.
"No big deal," I thought to myself, " I need to return a bunch of stuff anyway." I continued to clean off the couch by repacking the Blu-ray and tossing it into the Guzzler with the rest. That couch was looking pretty good; Carolyn just might not divorce me this week. Twenty-one and two tenths miles later I was at the store with a bunch of broken and unneeded junk.
They gave me some sort of exchange slip, "Good for anything in the store." I sauntered over to where I knew they kept their stash of Blu-rays (I had discovered the pile only the day before) and found.......an empty shelf. They had sold out of the device I had come to love.
Not just "heck with it," but "HELL with it! I want my money back, and I'm not leaving til you give it to me." They believed me and gave it back. As an afterthought, I let them know I was gonna go to Costco to get a new one. There. I sure told them!
So, back in the Guzzler and a little over six miles later I was where I should have gone to buy the stuff anyway. I went to the first place only because I had no idea what I was doing, and thought they were experts. Ha! They didn't know what I needed either. Bet it had nothing at all to do with the fact I had no idea what I needed and could not tell them. Not my fault - that's my story and.............you know.
I bought the new Blu-ray, eight pounds of bacon, four pounds of butter and a box of Cheese Goldfish for the same amount of money the experts wanted just for a broken DVD player. Back at the house, I plugged it in, followed the instructions, and invited the neighbors over to watch a movie.
Next time Carolyn tells me to clean the couch I'm gonna call some professionals. Ya know, the ones with the steam cleaning vacuums and such? They'd probably do a better job.
I still know nothing about hooking up IT stuff. It's way beyond me.
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