Nicole

I am not a religious freak, but I'll tell you exactly what happened.  I don't know what to think; make of it what you will.

I was on the couch in the waiting room just hangin out until my physical therapist finished up the client before me, when she motored up and said "Hi - I'm Nicole."   She was young, and until she spoke and told me her name I was not sure if she was a boy or a girl.  Both legs and her left arm were atrophied from lack of use, and she controlled the motorized wheelchair with a kind of lever that was moved fractions of an inch by her right hand.  Her speech was slow and slurred.  But, it was easier to understand than my wife's, and it revealed her intelligence was unaffected by all else that was wrong with her body.  Living with Carolyn has taught me there is more to a person than physical health and common looks.  Handicapped and odd, out of balance physical appearance has nothing to do with "being." 

I told her my name and she joked that Forest Gump was her favorite movie.  I've heard the line a hundred times before, and gave my standard reply. "I like to tell people my name's Forrest Grump - I can get away with murder."  With some sort of sound that must have been a chuckle, she said I didn't seem Grumpy at all and asked why I was there.  I told her about my still unhealed wrist, cut to relieve carpal tunnel symptoms, and asked what had happened to her.  Had she been in an accident?  She said yes.  Eight years earlier, an automobile crash had taken away most of her ability to use her body but she had been given other abilities - she could see things better than before.

Nicole was sitting in the rear seat, on the driver's side, when a guy blew through a stop sign and hit the left side of the car.  The driver and the passenger in back, on Nicole's right, were both killed instantly.  Nicole was left in in a coma, in St. Charles Medical Center, for four and a half months.  She told me she was able to remember a lot of what happened while she was comatose.  She could hear the Doctors and nurses and knew when her family visited.  The family was amazed when, after regaining consciousness, she told them much of what had occurred around her. 

She could also remember her talks with God.

God had asked her, in one of the firsts of their talks, if she wanted to stay in Heaven with Him, or return to Earth.  He told her He would not be easy on her if she chose to come back.  It was going to be a hard life, filled with a lot of suffering and pain.  Her condition would be almost unbearable.  But, He said, if she would use it to help, he'd give her a gift to take back with her.  By now, you know her choice.  She came back.

We talked more, mostly I asked about her conversations with the Lord and she explained more of what they discussed.  Amazingly, after the three shots of Jack Daniels it took before I decided to speak of this, I can remember little of this part of the conversation.  I know I felt comfortable with her, even though she was crippled beyond belief and was almost half a century younger.  Her courage and love of life and living, even when facing such horrible deformity every day she woke, made me stare with awe and admiration.  Her spirit was strong, almost beyond understanding, and gave meaning to the tone of what she said, the words weren't all that important.  Her emotions saying them and the soothing effect they had is what mattered.  We spent another ten minutes together and then she told me her ride home was just around the corner and that we did not have a lot more time together.  "I can see you're suffering and need help.  Talk to God.  Do it every night.  He wants to listen to you and can help."  Just then her driver walked in and she said goodbye and was gone. 

I had told her nothing of the situation in our home, nothing of Carolyn's condition.  I had said nothing of a personal nature about my life. There were no windows she could use to see the location of her driver.  There is no way she could have known of the trials we are experiencing, and for the life of me, I can not figure out how she knew the driver was near. 

I am a spiritual person but not a church goer.  I believe in a higher power and a higher existence, but have begun to wonder how a Great Being would allow what is happening to my wife to continue.  At times I am furious that Carolyn must suffer through the life she has been given.  I would not wish her condition on a child molester.  It seems Nicole darted into my life at just the right time to give me a sorely needed boost. 

Did I, like Nicole claims to have done, hear from God today?  I wonder.

Update:  A friend of mine called today and we discussed this at length.  His feeling is that I met and talked with a "Saint."